Where did he get his reporting skills?

I am sure everyone has heard about this, but today, I saw a news report about a woman who had octuplets! First of all- WOAH! I hope she has a lot of very close friends and family near by! 300+ diapers a week! Yikes!

However, this is not what surprised me the most. The reporter states how the Mom hasn't come out to say anything to the press- cut to a shot of a camera man trying to get a glimpse through a hospital window 5 stories up. It reminded me of like... a dog trying to get at his ball that has rolled under the deck. Sniff, sniff, peek, peek, dig with one paw. 

Cut to scene with doctors talking to a room full of press. The kind woman doctor explains to all the clicking cameras that the Mom is fine, resting, recovering now, 24 hours after the births.

Cut back to the local newsman, "Still no word form the mother," he says disappointedly, ending his report. For fuck's sake man, did you not just hear the doctor? Do you have no brain or better yet ears to go with that thoughtless mouth? 8 babies, 24 hours before! 

I hope 8 grapefruits come out of his penis!

That's all I have to say about that.