A Cat's Blog

Later Sun

2011-12-30T21:41:00.000-08:00

Listen to this! I want more but can't figure out how.

The Later Sun -Muse (In The Lights) from ShoeTree Productions on Vimeo.

Hilarious!

2011-09-25T17:37:00.001-07:00

Click the title of this post and go to the video. Favorite quote at 2:11, "It's like Pretty in Pink but if the dress looked good." LOL!

Super Chick

2011-09-25T02:56:00.000-07:00

It's getting cooler and if you have ever Skyped with me on a Monday morning, you probably know what that means!

It's Super Chick time!

These pajamas were gifted to me circa Christmas 2006 or 2007. And ever since then, they have been my go to PJs. They have moved with us 4 times, seen me through my MA and the crazy that was, wrapped me up during presentation practices, gone on business and pleasure trips and yet, after all these years they still manage to keep me warm and comfy. I love them. They make me feel like, you got, it! Super Chick!

Now, where did I pack away my cape?

Freaky freaking. Updated

2011-09-19T23:19:00.000-07:00

Next time you want to insult someone, call them a "Mucousis Invertibratis Caputidifalicous" or simply, "You, Leopard slug!" Here is why.

Name-calling aside, this is some impressively aesthetic reproduction for a creature perhaps never regarded as sexy or for that matter not-disgusting! Fact is truly stranger than fiction.

Xes and Oes to my few but so appreciated readers!

PS- Funnily, I googled the Latin name above and got a great big zero for results, minus some porn.

PPS- Could the narrator have had any more of a Canadian accent? I postulate not.

Update

Check out this situation in FL. Apparently, giant slugs from Africa have entered the State (ya' know, so people could drink the slug juices in a religious ceremony). Being non-native, they are causing a raucous. They lay 1,200 eggs a year, eat 500 different kinds of leafy greens and can carry a strain of meningitis humans can catch!

First, this is further proof of human's inferior capacity to procreate! I can't believe we lose to snails in number and aesthetics! Sheesh! Second, FL is lush, but imagine 18,000 of them eating their vegetarian asses through your neighborhood. And the poo! Third, I hope no one spreads the rumor that you can trip by licking them. I can totally see some high schoolers rounding them up and having a taste. Lick, lick, give mo' fo's! Check out the article here.

As an aside, happy 3-day weekend to my fellow Japan dwellers! May the sunshine be plentiful and time for friends, family and fun abound!

When the Zoo became an Aquarium with an Aquarium

2011-08-25T04:18:00.000-07:00

We started late. We stopped for medicine. We sat in a tiny bit of traffic and then we arrived. Paid our $54, eyed the clouds and headed in. It was 3:15. "Ok," we thought. "2 hours and 45 min is feasible."

Tigers. 4 romping tigers. Beautiful, mischievous and effing big. We'll come back to that. Again, iPhone shots, so not very good.

Komodo dragon. The keeper came up with a plastic bag and banged on the glass to call him to the windowed mess hall. I thought he would be feasting on vegetarian fare, purple cabbage and some other tasty ruffage. I have never been so wrong in all my life. Dinner was sopping wet, dead rats. He scarfed them down in a gulp each as we onlooking kids and adults grimaced with fascination.

Then, the rain came. So, we returned to the tigers where roofing shielded us. Big Mama lay around and her boys came over for licks and snuggles and the occasional rough house. Such fun. But the clock was ticking and we wanted to dash over to see the lions.

Enroute the rain quickened and the lions were gone from their savannah spot when we arrived. We decided to wait it out under the nice roof provided. Thunder, lightening, wind, alarms, sirens, offers of evacuation all made their way to our vicinity. We laughed and kept saying it was par for this strangely unpredictable trip's course of expectations deferred.

Lex needed constant hugs and reassurance. Baby bear doesn't like a good storm. Bri and I smiled. He was howling and hooting like Lieutenant Dan in Forest Gump and I was laughing. Zee was just hanging but enjoyed some hugs, too.

Did I mention no lions? Well, wait, there was a moment where a female lion darted out, then had one of those, "Oh shit, what was I thinking" moments just before turning around and high tailing it back from whence she came.

And who could forget the silhouette of a giraffe making it's way to shelter in the adjacent area? Yeah! We saw a giraffe, too! Kind of.

Inventory had us at 4ish animals and 2 hours left. Scheiße. OK, time to make another run for it with a stop at le toilet. Power outages really should not come when one is using a public toilet. Moving on to the Mammoth's non-extinct friends, the Ellies.

The toilets actually smelled better than this place, but were not nearly as fascinating as watching how elephants use their trunks! I could spend a day just observing the elephant trunk and still think I had only scratched the surface of what those things are capable of. It made me rethink how cool our arms are. Imagine your nose doing all that your arms do and then some. Wicked cool.

The rain seemed to be letting up (and my nose was burning), so we made a dash for the Tropical Kingdom. We saw a Silverback!!! Too dark to get him on film, but his regal demeanor gained my respect. His underlings were like college students wearing boxers down campus walk. They didn't give a crap. I think one may have scratched his privates just to make a point while gnawing on a carrot. Silver boy, on the other hand, made me afraid of the cabbage in his hand. Commanding.

Lady Lemur and Gentleman Gibbon were also on hand. I felt for all of them being in cages and cursed myself a little for paying to support their caging. Rationalized I was paying for their nice treatment. Oh what the mind is capable of.

We met a zoo worker who threatened to cut our visit short. 1 hour and $50+ didn't make us happy. We said so. She was stressed and made a mistake. Bri, being Bri, inquired if all the animals were OK and cherried that top off with, "How are you holding up?" She was putty in our hands and waved us on to have a great last hour. Domou. Domou.

We were wet and kind of dirty...

but look at those faces.

And these totally whacky creatures that, I think, handed God his nomination for "Most Creative".

And it got trippy.

Undersea life if one psychedelic place, man. And yet, it can also be, well, I have to admit that a few times I actually thought, "Mmm, that looks delicious." Japanese much?

I learned that sea horses anchor themselves with their tails...

And penguins pose for pictures...

This is the part where children learn that nothing in life is free or easy. Popular Polar Bear spent five minutes trying to fish his blue toy out of the water without actually getting wet.

A few close calls as he teetered on the shore, but he finally got his blue bobble and headed to where his friend was lazing.

And then there was this persistent otter who spent several minutes upside down in the water, smashing an unopened shell on the wall of his enclosure. He was up. He was down. He laid back and flipped around. The crowd cheered as he fought to make that clam his dinner spot.

Shaaaaaaaaark!!!!!!

Screaming sea lions. No really. The Mom was all, "Stay in the shelteeer!" and the kids were like, "Catch us if you can!" And then some Naa-nanny-boo-boo's were heard as Mom rolled her eyes and cursed her husband for what "his" children were doing.

The lovely people I get to call family. Brother Bri, niece Lex and nephew Zee. I wish K had been there with us, but maybe she was OK back home with her James Patterson books :-D

A frequently spotted creature, the Grizzly...

Oh, wait, no. That's Uncle Butt teaching Zee that it is not a good idea to mess with bears.

And this phenomenal creature known as the driving teenager.

She is also known to look like this...

But is most lovely when like this and with her adorably cute brother Zee.

Love you PA crew! Next time, leave me home and the 4 of you head to Pittsburgh together, alright? Well, if Bri has managed to recover from the Brittany Spears traffic and missed turn from a creature sometimes known as Poor Navigatinus (aka, me).

Utah!

2011-08-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Utah. Here it is in 20 pictures. Quality is pish, all taken from my iPhone 3GS. I didn't bring my good camera. Blasted!

Yet, I think you will see the varied landscapes, textures and colors of this supremely stereotyped state of Mormons. I met a few and everyone was nice. All I care about though is that I want to go back and take more pictures with a better camera. So. much. more. to. see.

Buffalo.

Sniff. Sniff.

Near Dad's place.

Fish Lake, UT

Also at Fish Lake, A NATURAL RIVER! Never seen one of those in Japan (not totally true, but I can count on one hand how many I have seen in concrete Japan).

Landscape of Capitol Reef National Park, reflected in the window of an old Mormon school from the 1800s.

Petroglyphs. Look in the V above the rocks on the lower half of the picture.

Driving through the park.

Daddy in the driver's seat on our way home from Capitol Reef Park near his home in Teasdale.

Next day, heading to Bryce Canyon we stopped many times to look around. Here are lizard prints. They were everywhere.

This part of UT is a lot less rich in color. It is like the Goth side of the state. The black streaks at the top of the ridges are coal. Cool.

Bryce Canyon National Park

Siblings. What a nice bonding time this trip was for us. Just the three of us and our Dad. It was good to see G as he has matured. We saw some of our side of the family in him and that was really exciting. I really felt like his big sis!

Hoodoos!

Evidence of rain, wind and snowmelt. Sweet.

Having a wee. Bare with.. bare with...

Chillin'.

Ride home from Bryce.

Back to Capitol Reef for a hike. Nay, G and I got caught in a shit rain storm and rivers were cropping up here and there. We lost the trail a few times, but we pulled through, if not covered in red mud. G was very happy he didn't cry. I was proud of all of us.

Nay and G competing to see who could get the most points hitting different spots on the rock: 5, 10, 15 points. Nay won.

We did several of these rock throwing competitions, as well as some games of pickle ball and a whole lot of reading of the Michael Phelps book, since G is a potential Olympic-eyed swimmer.

I am so glad I finally went to see where my Daddy lives. I missed it when I left. Dad knows wonderful people and the surroundings are unmistakable. Utah is a statement piece. Go West!

The visit gets a 9 out of 10 for me. The loss of one point is because so much of life in America involves riding in cars. I suck at cars. Maybe that is why I live in Japan?

Check back in a few for the Pittsburgh Zoo with Bri and kids! What an adventure that was!

Music Scene

2011-06-22T05:09:00.000-07:00

Ridiculously wonderful progressive bluegrass is coming out of Kyoto, Japan, folks! I am digging very much a band called Pirates Canoe. I also happen to know the lead singer, Reika.

I have never reviewed a band before, but I figure why not give it a try.

Reika Hunt (first mate) has a sweet whispy voice that harmonized beautifully with all voices out of their canoe. And the woman can write a song!

Sara Kohno (Captain) and Mandolin player has this amazing tone to her voice. I think it's like chocolate. Rich and creamy, which mixes nicely with the sweetness of Reika's voice. And um, the Mandolin. Seriously!? Crisp rhythms and a sound that makes your eyebrows go up and down as it hits its range of notes.

The fiddle player, Kanako Keyaki (quartermaster) shreds. Agile. Her playing reminds me why violins (yes, violins are fiddles) and the human voice are most alike but also what makes them different. They can be shrill, smooth and rich, strings vibrating like our own vocal chords (cool!); but violins can harmonize with themselves, unlike our own voices!

The drummer, Takashi Yoshioka (boatswain) has sense. That's all you can say of a man who plays in a top hat, makes noises with god knows what and makes it just plain fun to watch him play. His personality shines from the back and his harmonies add a nice touch when he sings.

The bassist looks like a terribly laid back but fun looking dude, who keeps the core vibrating nicely. Bass is perhaps my favorite instrument to hear. It strikes my core and I find it terribly sexy. Jun Taniguchi (rum master) doesn't disappoint with his plucking, slapping, tapping and thumping.

And finally, Kazuhiko Iwaki (sailing master), plays the resophonic guitar and makes no sense to me... how does he not live in Appalachia or Nashville? Really impressive to me and I want to hear more! He slides and picks the strings up and down on his knee, left fingers steel wrapped and right wrapped in plucking picks. A natural.

Pirate's Canoe use silence as well as they use melodic, dissonant and harmonic sound and it feels good to hear them. They can be etherial, strange, silly, frank and just darn pretty. Their new CD has been on repeat here a lot lately and I have plans to see quite a bit of them live in the future. Come join me!

Oh, and they have a great look, too. Retro. Casual. Cool.

(Pirates Canoe)

PS- I am planning to go see another band I learned about at the last Pirates' live called (I think) Yoshida Shonen and Mikazuki Soup. Guitar, drums, upright bass, piano, vocals and a horn! The horn player is very pretty. I love how she holds her horn when she is not playing it and her mouth is pretty (I know that sounds weird, but she has a pretty mouth). Yoshida Shonen is a nutter and I loved watching him rock out! They are funky, experimental and funny! Not rock, but they Rock! Rock! July 8th around Shijo!

(Pirates Canoe with Yoshida Shonen and Mikazuki Soup)

The Newest Addition...

2011-06-10T03:08:00.000-07:00

On a lighter note, I would like to introduce you to our first blossom of the year. This hibiscus is probably our 4th one, but also the one we have managed to keep alive the longest. We love her.

After snapping this lovely, we headed out to spend the day walking in Gion. We ventured into a little hole in the wall for lunch where we had cold yuba and a lovely teishoku (set) lunch. It tasted like grandma's cookin', so you know we were alright!

I bought a gorgeous clothe at RAAK, which I can tie into various style bags. Can't wait to bust it out with a black dress on girl's night. Perhaps next Saturday!?

We walked to Sanjo and meandered into a plant shop, where we met the newest addition to our decor. She is perfect and I will love her as long as she will have us!

My heart was slightly broken when I found out this beauty was sold...

We'll be back to check for more like her. Her shape is perfect for our window wall nook. Fingers crossed we find one like her before too long.

Part 2: No shame!

2011-05-23T05:34:00.001-07:00

It took me a while to just come out with it here. I tried last post, but I couldn't do it yet. Ah well, I am finally ready to say that in 4 weeks, I heard both "Congratulations" and "Well, humans are terrible breeders."

Yes, the weekend I was to run my first 5K as an adult was the weekend that I miscarried my first pregnancy. A goal and dream deferred.

That is how I describe it, or perhaps I should say, how my friend R stated it. With such a resounding "Uh-huh" in fact, that I came to realize it was the dream that I was mourning. We had tried before to no avail and then it happened, and then, it didn't. It is like when you listen to a song and you think, "Here. Here it is going to break open and split my head and heart in half," but instead it just keeps building until you dance by the radio and accidentally unplug it as you trip forward on the chord. No resolve to the crescendo! Or... maybe it is more like sitting in the front car of a roller coaster and after the long climb up the massive peak, just as you reach the top, the cars roll backwards and you never fall into the oblivion of recklessly abandoned screams and the rush of what is one hell of a drop into the unknown! Yeah, more like that, I think.

At first, I was just so fucking disappointed and sad. I spent days feeling the life run out of me. I cried when I talked about it and was, for the first time in my life, leery to actually speak about something personal. It felt like a secret I had to keep. I stayed inside, drank a lot of fluids, mostly tea and water and then I got a pain in my side.

I called the doctor who had done my ultrasounds and told me that I would likely miscarry when I showed up for a weekly check with spotting. She suspected not only because of the spotting but also because upon looking, the gestational sac was small for what should have been 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. The latter was so sad to not see flicker on the screen. I had been counting down, asking friends, keeping track of its development on the umteen websites with 3D images and descriptions of what was happening inside me.

I'll pause here, like I often did in the few weeks that I knew, to say that I knew there was a chance it wouldn't go to term. I kept telling myself not to get too excited. But I guess that is like telling a 5 year old kid not to get too excited about Disney World for Spring Break. A very difficult sale.

Doctor T told me to go to the hospital. I went and my new Doc, a woman from China, said she would do a DNC the next morning because she suspected that I had an infection. We went home. I took some antibiotics with some soup and went to bed. The next thing I knew it was 2 a.m. and I was vomiting. We called the hospital and went in.

As soon as we got there I tossed my cookies but also instantly felt better. They put me in a bed and I went to sleep for a little bit. Around 6 a.m. they put a crazy old woman in the bed next to me. They they gave her a "kancho" (supository) with such vividly descriptive commentary at massive volume because of the woman's craziness and age, that all I could do was wince and laugh quietly. What a way to wake up!

Hours past as I slept and listened to things around me. The crazy lady had been moved soon after whatever they put in her bum came out. She called the nurses repeatedly after only 3 minutes of being in her bed, finally she admitted she was lonely and so they put her in a more lively section. In her place came a Chinese woman in labor, accompanied by her mother. I had no clue what they were saying, but listening to a mother and daughter talk is universal and it made me warm. I wished I had my Mom.

Between her contractions my procedure was done, and when I woke, she was in lots of pain and asking them to just cut her open. The nurses just kept saying it would be far worse pain after a cesarian delivery and to just do her best to bare it. It would all be over soon. I was discharged before she started pushing, but I think she was nearly there. I thought of her often in the days following, wondering how she was getting on as a new mom. I wondered how I was going to get on as a new me, who had nothing to show for the inner change she went through. I started doing inventory.

One of the things that really helped me were the messages and gestures of love from those around me. I felt so loved, that I was overflowing and wondered how I could think something had been lost. And yet, I also felt like the biggest god damned failure! I had failed at something I was supposedly biologically hardwired to do! Not only that, but I failed, something I just don't do well. Bring on the shame.

Entering the shame cycle is like walking into traffic with a blindfold. You have no clue where anything is coming from, though you kind of hear it coming, as the voice gets a bit louder in your head and then BOOM! What made it worse is that the more people knew, the more people knew. I felt completely out of control. Until I owned it.

I realized that by thinking I could control who knew and not talking about it like I would normally with something that happened to me, I was digging myself into a hole. A very lonely hole. And once I started to open up, the stories came a floodin' in. Many prefaced with, "I wouldn't normally talk about this, but since you are being so open about it..." And that is when I realize how utterly not alone I was and how shame is self-inflicted when one assumes that others would think of a miscarriage as a failure and not a very human experience. For every woman who experiences a miscarriage, which is 25%, there is a man who experienced it with her. Which means, something like 50% of all people who try to have a baby get it. And yet, it is not something people talk about? Couples suffer the loss all the time. Anyone else wonder WTF?

I think TV shows need to explore miscarriage with their characters more. It's always about having babies and deciding to keep them or not. Or it's about kidnapping. What about dealing with something that happens far more than kidnapping and is such an emotional treasure trove you could write half a seasons about it!? I wouldn't base a show on it, but come on, no one gets over it like they do a cold. Give the process some respect and knock some socks off. Get an Emmy or whatever the TV award is. Seriously! NBC, ABC, whateverBC, make this happen!

To wrap up here, first, and most importantly, I learned how much love I have in my life. I realized just how much of an amazing support network I have. I have owned my experience and will talk about it anytime. I am not a failure nor am I a shameful loser. And to reiterate, I don't need a nose job. Finally, TV writers need to do a better job at handling the topic. They just do. Because too many women suffer shame, not realizing how common and un-alone they are.

Part 1: You need a nose job, Loser.

2011-05-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

Like everyone, I have been told a lot of things in my life. "You need a nose job" was certainly one that stuck with me, but I gave no weight. My nose is what girls with "a deviated septum" ask for. Period. On the other hand, I have also been given sage advice. Before getting married, I received lovely tidbits like, "You will mature at different rates. Be patient while the other catches up." Or, "Give without expectation." As a married woman, these words have carried me from time to time. And, I pass them on to those who are stepping across their wedded threshold.

I can site examples of such times; like our first 3 years of marriage. It was a prolonged adjustment but also a time of exceptional growth. We went through several jobs, earned a higher degree, moved 3 times and finally found some peace. For almost 3 years we have enjoyed a pretty copacetic existence in our Kyoto home. The turmoil led us here and we feel triumphant every time we think back to those first few years. It has made up realize how ready we are for new things in our life and drives home the fact that you can't always be a winner. I came to firmly believe it is more about how you handle the times when you think you are the "loser" than being a winner (try telling Charlie Sheen that!).

And this word, "Loser". Rather a funny term. A mainstream term, perhaps engrained in my generation's psyche by the 90's Beck song of the same title. "Soy, una perdidor. I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me." While Beck never meant for this song to crown him king of the twenty-something "slackers" movement of that time, it did; and funnily it was the antithesis of what he even stood for. He worked hard for little pay for years, was even homeless for a while. So it's ironic that a song called "Loser" made him anything but in the eyes of the world. When he sang those lyrics, he just meant he couldn't rap very well. Go figure his self proclaimed lack of talent would catapult his art into the mainstream, making him a beloved musician. Ironic, no?

Boy did I digress! Ah well, I like where this is going and will leave it here to be picked up again. I'll certainly go to bed with that song stuck in my head. Good luck not singing it all day/night, too. But just remember, you are as much a loser as I need a nose job.

Long time no write...

2011-05-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

OK, so I am back. I have a whopping post to write. It explains my absence. I look forward to it being read. I look forward to writing it.

Stuff and bits

2010-12-15T02:27:00.000-08:00

Only 3 days left of work and one is a voluntary day in so I can meet with a Prof I adore for his help! We are finally coding the videos from last year's second grader interviews! Yes, it has been 8 months. Stuff happened.

Anyhow, I leave in 4 days! Time for lots of Christmas cheer. Shopping, aka, "ef me, there are too many people in the damn mall and I want to get in and out ASAP". Lists will be made for efficiency purposes. Yes, lists will be made.

Hiro had 3 days off in a row. Glorious! I really enjoyed having him here when I left and came home. We did a lot of silly joking, some planned meals, spontaneous eats out and even took a nap together on Monday. Had we rented DVDs and curled up, I would have thought we were dating again. It's been a pleasure. Thanks, lucky stars! I'll miss him while I am gone. Nice to be leaving feeling really in love. It will make coming back easier.

On the way home today, we stopped at a city look-out. Kyoto is such a packed city when seen from afar. I must say though, having the river and Gosho, you don't feel it as much when you are in it. On to what I really want to say...

When we pulled into the parking lot the guy in the next car was very comfortably reclined looking at a magazine. He was open to the page with lots of vaginas. It was all I could do not to check if he had his man parts out. Convinced that I didn't want to see that, I just pretended not to notice. I was rather shocked at how many vaginas there were on the page, though. He should get tinted windows.

I don't mind seeing them, I mean, Georgia O'Keefe comes to mind. However, this particular situation being in a parking lot made me think of the movie Happiness (1988). And so then I felt a little disturbed. If you've seen the movie you understand. If you haven't, well, it is not something you would watch when you want a laugh. Amazing cast, but dear lord the characters are a tribe of filthy souls. A pedophile father being perhaps the filthiest. Vomit.

Moving on, or not... the parking lot was also filled with adorable fat cats. Yes, folks! I saw even more pussies in the parking lot! Imagine that!? One was super friendly. Came trotting over with a jiggling belly and stayed as long as I continued to rub it (Christ! Could this get any easier?). Back in the car, I lamented not having a pet. Standard for me, until I think of the responsibility, cost, etc and figure I am not yet old enough. Oh, and Hiro is totally allergic. *Sigh*

OK, so I think I should stop now cause this is making me think of even more dirty things I could say. Will spare you! I don't apologize for how I think, only for not warning you at the start. :)

Statistics

2010-12-09T05:34:00.000-08:00

I have just hung up with my Mash Collaboration Quantitative Methods Course class. You may remember (because, you know, I have so many readers) when I talked about it here.

Well tonight, as our Prof wallowed in our wonderfulness, I almost cried. Well, I had some mascara in my eye, but still, our teacher was so proud of us! More than that though, I am super duper proud of myself for staying the course. Math was never my forte, but perhaps that was just an excuse after all?

Introductory Stats is really not so much math as it is being willing to read, listen and think. Like any kind of learning you just have to put in some effort. Most importantly, though, you have to be willing to ask and help when others are asking. Yes, yes, I am plugging collaboration here. Because it works.

I couldn't have done the study if my wonderful colleagues hadn't been willing to work with me. I couldn't have done the course without the other students whose ideas, shared on our wiki site, turned on more than one proverbial lightbulb in my head. Nor could I have done it without the inspiring and enthusiastic professor Greg Scholdt or Steven Herder, the collaborator of collaborators.

Yes, the people above made it almost easy. Perhaps only 1 of my grey hairs can be attributed to this course. And that would be considered statistically significant if you got a peek under my bangs, people!

So walking away I am reassured of a few things. First that collaboration is the answer to the common person who needs a little external motivation to kickstart their internal motivation device. Second that you don't have to be a math genius (or to have ever gotten above a B-, or was it a C?, in math) to tackle Stats. Third that I may not be as brain dead after 9 p.m. as I thought. And finally, I am reassured that mistakes are what learning is made of, and that seeing shortcomings just shows you that there is more to learn and room to grow.

So go. Go sign up for something that scares you. Seriously. Do it. You may find out you are more of a force to be reckoned with than the thing you were scared of to begin with!

But Lisa said...

2010-12-08T03:12:00.000-08:00

...it would be easier today.

I had a stitch in my side, my lower calf is killing and I hated it. What sucks about it though, is that it was only my second run in 3 weeks and it wasn't very far. 28 minutes today, 15 seconds longer than the other day. Ugh!

But, know what? I did it. I ran through the stitch, my calf and I loved it! What's great about it though, is that it was my second run in 3 weeks and it was further than when I first started. 28 minutes of exercise today, 10 minute stretch that made me feel better than the other day. Yeah!

What am I doing?

2010-12-03T04:01:00.000-08:00

I keep asking myself that question. What am I doing?

In my teaching.

In my career.

In my marriage.

In my self care.

In general.

I'll start with the first because it is simple. I am trying to teach less. Listen more. Be in the moment and not necessarily on the page that I wrote before the class. This does not mean I don't have objectives for the class, but I don't have to be rigid in how we get there.

The second? Well, my career is where it is. Some nice things are in the planning stages, and so now I am just considering possibilities. Keeping an open mind is always nice and creating opportunity is perhaps one better.

6 years of marriage. Yeah! 8 years together. Yeah! I am going to continue doing what I have been doing. It's working.

I am still running. Technically I have not been in 2 weeks, but that is NOT going to stop me from continuing. My last run was in gorgeous Gosho in the middle of the city. It's the Central Park of Kyoto, complete with changing leaves and ancient structures. OK, it isn't as big as CP, but man is it a lovely place. Tomorrow I will go along the river.

No more of this busy, busy November attitude. I mean, I still have a lot to accomplish in 2010, but being home on the weekends makes it easier on the week. And in 2 weeks I will be packing for home. Happy moments that include hugging and snuggling, fires, the smell of pine, laughing, joking and helping. I could cry right now thinking about it.

A. Little. Bit. More.

2010-11-06T05:02:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me professionally knows I am not a nighttime thinker. Past 9 p.m. it gets so terribly difficult for me to, um, what's that word? Um, oh, THINK! ;-)

So, I often think "A. Little. Bit. More" towards the end of the 9-10 p.m. Statistics class. Thankfully it all gets recorded so I can go back and watch it all again.

Today, I went running after a 5 day recess. I went my usual route and I kept noting that it didn't seem long. Talk about a switch. I decided to go A. Little. Bit. More. and repeated it in my breathing as I went that extra stretch.

I also noticed a suspicious weird dude on a bike wearing a hat and a black mask. Pulled out my "firefly" just in case and figured that the middle of the day is a perfect time to run on my own. It gets too dark in the winter at night. I need more light. A. Little. Bit. More.

The Karen of my Mom

2010-10-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

Sis-in-law O' Mine

If crap you have

She has no time.

For hers, is reserved.

Bed sores and stinks,

and meals and brinks

She, a nurse most times.

And when not caring

she works for Sam's

all good marks she gets

I love this woman

for all she does

and so I take this time

thank you so much

and in return,

I'll see you in 55 days!

Yeah, I am not poet, but I hope you understand the message despite! Muah!

Running Update

2010-10-24T05:33:00.000-07:00

Last Monday, I went out during the day after I read this blog. I was not feeling like a runner that day, but she was not feeling particularly human and she did that, so with my fanny pack-a-doo I went out to see what would happen. What happened was I broke into 5.16 km with a 10 minute mile pace. Alrighty then.

Then on Wednesday, again feeling a little less than enthused (rare, as Wednesday I am pretty excited for my end of a long day run), I remembered that blog and shed my lame excuses. With Hiro on his bike I decided to do it again. By decide, I mean, I got to the turn around point and said, "Just run home." I always do that, despite knowing that once home I have to keep going in a loop to make the distance. I just can't promise myself I will do it until I am almost home and feel great for having made it that far and think, "What's a little further?" It's just how it is.

That Wednesday my left foot was really hurting about 3/4 of the way in. It still hurt on Thursday, worse than ever before. Truth is, it often bothers me on Wednesday night runs. I think it is because I run after a very long day of being on my feet. I am not sure how to stop it though as it is the perfect running night for me. I am going to see if it continue and figure out what to do then. But, it didn't hurt on Friday and it was surely fine today...

I went out in the afternoon drizzle and this time, I ran past my turn around to make a loop home. I had ridden my bike to the electronics store earlier and realized that the path I usually run comes out on Shin Jujo where the store is. It is slightly hilly, but not so steep I want to die and I figured it would be a nice challenge. Maybe make up for the copious amounts of bread I ate yesterday and the chocolate the day before (Halloween, drat!)? Maybe I wouldn't feel so bad as slight inclines don't bother me any more?

And so I did and fine it was. I just ran along, thinking about things ranging from, "Man, I must look dazed" to "Don't slip on the wet metal grating". I also often thought, "Don't look at your time." And I didn't until I got to the point where I was getting close enough to start thinking about whether I had to loop at the end or not. And then, my iPhone rang. It was Lili! Yeeeeees! I picked up!

"Hey, I am running! I am almost done. Talk while I finish." Piped in through my ear phones I heard all about her smashingly great kids' Halloween party (at which I didn't help but offered to help with prep yesterday and sent an encouraging message about today. Hear my twinge of guilt? Love you, Li!). Got the DL on the woman who is always such a freaking freak (let's call her Late-ka) and pushed myself in at 37:09 for 5.46 km. Li, you really helped me home, babe! And when this woman did her BQ in Germany, she was doing it for me!

So, that's where I am and I like it. Thank goodness for the blogs above! I find such inspiration and recently, when I see other runners who aren't completely kicking my ass (all men!), I think to myself, "Hey, I think I am becoming a runner." At each run's start I might not think I can go longer, but every 2-3 runs I can. And, just to add, I do it while listening to things like Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. Oh, to think what I used to do when listening to that!

Computer

2010-10-24T01:58:00.000-07:00

I had a "computers don't make my life easier" week. "Battery, power adaptor, computer? What was the problem," you ask.

I. don't. know. Or I should say, I. did. not. know. But, let's not get ahead of ourselves.

I assumed it was the computer. I swore that with another power adaptor the same thing happened... no juicy juice. I did the only rational thing for someone in a total panic about not being able to do her work and had no time to go aaaaallllll the way to Shinsaibashi to the Apple Store to have it checked would do. I ordered a new computer. And, yeah, I had wanted a new one. 4 years was a good run, warranty was out, and dayum it had become slow. Boop boopy doo!

Monday to Saturday I just waited, ok, no. I hijacked Hiro's computer. Hiro knew, saying, "Go ahead Jian." If you don't know Jian, he is a bully on the kids' program Doraemon who picks on Nobita and the other kids. One of his famous sayings is "My stuff is my stuff and your stuff is my stuff." And so it is with me. Hiro is my Nobita.

I survived the week with out. And then it came! Like a white knight! I embraced it and gently set it down on our green carpet. Swiss army knife out, opening the flaps of the box, pulling her out! What do you think I did next? Turn it on you say? Absolutely... not. I grab the power adaptor to see if I could juice my old one. Was the 140,000 yen I spent for the computer in vain? Absolutely... kind of.

Green light went on and juiced my old girl got! My new girl? On she was turned and soon I could begin the data transfer. Using airport all my info could flow through space to the new computer set just beside. In 20 hours. Heh heh. By the time I went to bed, I was certain I would wake in the morning with just a few hours left. At 6 a.m., I did and only 3 hours separated me and using my new computer. "That's perfect. I'll sleep another 3 hours," I thought. And then I heard the "buh".

"Buh" is never a good sound, is it?! It means a window has popped up to alert you to something. This window was telling me that my computer was no longer on the network. I will take this opportunity to NOT recommend eo Hikari Fiber as an internet provider. For a variety of reasons, none of which I will enumerate at this time (other than the fact that sometimes it just cuts off), we are switching as soon as we can! And with that, my 12 hours of data transfer was cancelled. I was, as you might guess, none too pleased.

Cancel button hit, pillow over head, I still slept until 9. Then I rolled over and called Apple. No English help today, well, fuck it, I haven't lived in this country for 11 years to not be able to get a handle on this in Japanese and so I hit 4 then 2 and was connected to my helpful technical support person. I would say introduced to, as all phone calls to service centers start with self introductions, but we had no time for that as I had to first apologize for my shitty Japanese and ask for his patience as I "ganbaru" and do my best. Half way though he admitted he really thought I was going to be shitty but you know, I am not, and he was well relieved and happy to say how crap his English is. I reassured him that if it were the U.S. I could understand his disappointment, but um, we live in Japan, Buddy. It's perfectly fine that you can't help me in my L1. Next step, "you need to buy a LAN cable." No, a firewire cable.

Hopped on my bike, wait no, nothing is ever smooth. Climbed back up to get the bicycle pump, pumped it up and then I hopped on. I got all the green lights (Yes!), found my helpful store rep and asked for a firewire cable. "A what? Do you mean LAN cable?" I had no idea, I just knew I was told to get a firewire 400 6 pin 800 9 pin cable. Puzzling. "Let me call Apple," I said. Lo and behold a mistake was made and all I needed was a LAN cable. Yatta! 390 yen later I was back on my bike and home in 10 minutes.

Up, up, in. Sit, call, connect, start the process. No. Stop. Hang up. Update. Make rice. Call back. Try again. No. LAN won't work. WTF!? Who did I wrong recently? Why did they choose now to play their voodoo? I am pretty sure I let the old lady have my seat on the train this week and I didn't punch any children. Oh, I know what I did. I was late and left colleagues waiting. Damn you karma! Shaking my fist, I listened as the 4th or was it 5th technical support person tell me I was out of "easy" options. Easy my big ole white arse!

Out came the EX HD and we began to manually transfer things. Hung up while it got transferred, called back when it was time to put it all on the new computer and voila, 6th or 8th person could finally wrap up my service number. Customer 1816757696 (yes, I memorized it, that's how many times I repeated it with each call back) was DONE!

What next? Skype! That would be easy. Just download and be done. But, why would it be easy? No, Skype wanted to be an ass hat, too. So for a while it was. Until it wasn't. And I was more than ready to take whatever voodoo might have been left on the road and sublimate my pent up ugly into a run. And so I did.

So computer issues, you've been served. I know you will make me think you make my life easier for a while. And you do. But weeks like this, you really don't and like with anything, I am willing to accept that you have to take the good with the bad and in the end, as long as the good (in this case easy) makes me a winner most of the time, I will go forth and still proclaim that I love MacBooks, Apple support, and myself for not exploding on anyone and doing all of this in Japanese. That's right bitches, I got a new computer and even more confidence in myself as a grown-up who can handle a situation maturely and in another language. Me: 1, All the other stuff: 0

Proud Hiro Keep on Rollin'

2010-10-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

My cold is gone and really I have my husband to thank. He insisted I go to the Dr. immediately, instead of waiting it out and spiraling into a snotty, black hole with no voice. By Monday I felt normal-ish and went about my shopping, cleaning and cooking routine. Tuesday I worked out after work and that was that as far as any health concerns went.

Wednesday I had one of my best runs, only to be topped tonight. I am still running just 4.87 km at a 10 minute mile pace, but I expect I can get up to 5 km soon. I certainly am a day/night runner, not a morning runner. Mornings I am mentally on the ball, but physically not so much. And again, I must thank my hubby for riding along with me, warming dinner while I am stretching and showering and then doing the dishes. Overall, he is really a helpful man!

I think I am lucky in that our division of labor is pretty even when balanced out with our work schedules. He does the stuff I hate: dishes, bathrooms and showers and I do the stuff I like: cooking, vacuuming (I love that the most because a clean floor is like a clean soul, IMHO) and laundry. Ok, I hate laundry, but I like it more than smelling like sh*t, so I can deal. Plus I absolutely hate how Hiro hangs up wet clothing. There, I said it.

Anywho, I feel grateful for Hiro. He often says he is proud of himself for marrying me. Funny way to put it, but I get it. I married someone nicer than I am, so I guess I can feel proud I spotted that in him and knew not to let him go. No one is perfect and I'll take him being nice over, I dunno', someone with clothes hanging skills.

Thanks, Hiro!

PS- While I cooked all of this, Hiro put it together so nicely! Miso soup with loads o' stuff (cabbage, sticky potatoes, mushrooms, carrots, daikon, tofu, fried tofu, and a little pork), calcium-in-your-face hijiki (sea vegetable) with little fish, carrot and shirataki and finally, the terribly out of place but oh so delicious Mediterranean Chicken Apricot Burgers (again) on baby leaf.

Achoo!

2010-10-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

Alas! Alack! I. am. sick.

Yes. A cold I have.

Annoying, inconvenient

and yet,

a chance to sleep.

Without further adieu,

I bid you all goodnight

at 9:51 a.m.

Snooze.

Yes. I Am Serious!

2010-10-06T06:20:00.000-07:00

So tonight, I got home from my longest day of the week and decided I would feel better if I went for a run. However, with the rapist on the loose in our area and the recent, random stabbing death of a young man in Osaka, I don't feel so keen to run at night. As luck would have it, Hiro was home before me. So, he strapped on his head lamp, hopped on his bike, and rode with me all 4.88 km.

I ran the same route as I did on Monday and while the distance is the longest I have run (possibly ever), they have been some of the easiest. I was trying to think about why and I remember distinctly on Monday putting my iPhone/pod/timer in my f*ckin'-sexy-pink fanny pack and saying who cares about your time, just run.

That day, I went a little further and when I got to the point to turn around I felt I could keep going. I decided to go back and then run past home if I was still up for it. I know that if I go too far away I feel panicky, thinking I will never make it back. I kept focus on my breathing and thought (for the first time!), "Wow, I just have to run back." It was wonderful.

What felt equally great was that there was a slightly cool rain falling, which kept me chilled out. I didn't get too hot despite it being the middle of the day. I was relived I went then, as it got sunnier on the way back and continued to get warmer as the day progressed.

Anyway, I just stayed calm, in control of my breathing, and when I got home I decided I could go a bit further. So I kept trotting for a little and ended up with 4.88 km at 35 minutes! Very satisfying indeed. But, could I actually repeat that performance 2 days later, at night, before dinner, after a long day? Apparently, I can.

As we set out, I reminded myself of what worked so well on Monday: don't think of my time and just run along. I felt totally at ease with my capable hubby and just in case I had my weapon (or as everyone but my hubby calls it, a stun gun). I thanked Hiro once along the way and he said, "You are really serious." For a moment I thought of him imagining me stopping and starting, perhaps picking flowers along the way. "Yes, I am serious," I said. He thought I had a good pace and I felt proud of myself.

My ending time was again 35 minutes and while physically I am getting stronger (those little inclines don't even phase me anymore), I think mentally it is such a hard game, but I am finding ways to win. Added to my breathing, I have to remember not to think about my time and to go at unstressful hours or with people who keep me at ease. Not always possible, but perhaps my ideal.

On a comedic note, I just want to clarify that while my running pants are getting looser, my sports bra is not. Such a relief that would be for one of my 3rd grade boys who said in class today that if we were boxing, my breasts would be perfect to practice rapid punches on. (After he said it the class went silent and he turned so red. He knew immediately he was WRONG in so many ways for having said that thought out loud!) And while we are on the subject, I can audibly hear a few of my 6th grade boys breathing a sigh of relief. Yesterday, I caught two of them looking straight at 'em when one turned to the other and said "bigger". Hey, at least I know all the comparatives work we've been doing in class isn't getting past them! Yes. I am serious!

Tis the season...

2010-10-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

...to be busy, falalalalalala lalalalala.

Yes, November is fast approaching which means not only is the JALT National Conference on the horizon, but the ETJ Teaching EXPO as well. That means I will be pulling out my presenter hat, followed by my volunteer gloves. It is a super stimulating time of year. Networking with lots of colleagues, socializing with people I don't see but once or maybe twice a year, it just all creates this buzz of professional love and the ideas just come overflowing.

So, between now and then it is time to see friends I haven't seen since before summer and won't until before next summer. Mix that with children's Halloween festivities and let's just call Fall the prelude to feet-never-hit-the-ground-Spring. And...

I decided to add to my Fall basket a Quantitative Method's Course (aka Stats) that will run from October to December. Crazy? Of course! Totally awesome? Oh, hell yeah! Super excited, but super nervous. I can barely balance fractions, so to say this is terrifying would be true. But life is short, so I'll make the best of a scary situation and hopefully come out of it with a keen eye like a proper research cutie pie.

And on the running front... Friday's morning run was a damned shame. Tummy was weird, stressed about time as I had to be back by a certain time and it was a hottish morning. Grr. Hoped to make today better but the rain came, so I just did some yoga and pilates. Fingers crossed for tomorrow!

L.O.V.E

2010-09-28T06:43:00.000-07:00

The day finally arrived for Hiro, I and so many of our good friends here in Kyoto to celebrate the marriage of our dear friends Eri and Bill. To say it was emotional, perfectly them and a great party would be... just about the best way for me to sum up how I felt!

(Love how they are looking at each other :-)

At the wedding Eri thanked our friend James from Oz because it was at his going away party that they met. Tearfully she said, "If it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't have gotten married." Come to think of it, if it wasn't for him, our group wouldn't be what it is today. That was the night when we met Bill, too! Well, to me he was "leather jacket guy" because I never caught his name, just, apparently, his attire.

(Looking very dapper here and might I add that the way Eri is standing is very, very Eri! So cute!)

My heart strings got tugged and it really got me thinking that if it wasn't for Chuck and Nadine we would not have the support and love of several friends who we cherish so much. I can also say that many of these people are why we came to Kyoto, too.

I see Eri and Bill's wedding as a celebration for everyone in our fun group. What a symbol of the love I think we have among us. And Bill, I, too, am so glad that we are friends who aren't going to leave.

A final shot and a cheers to our Dear Friends! You got us for the long-run!

Unknotted

2010-09-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

Recently, while talking with my girl, Li, I somehow signed up for my first 5K race... in January. It will be cold and I don't know what the ef I was thinking when I thought my first race should be at the coldest time of year. Two days after signing up and paying my money, I hear it is not only going ot be cold, but it will be a very cold year. You know, to balance the hottest summer in over 100 years. Great.

Reading Murakami's book What I Talk About When I Talk About Running I am often making analogies to things in my life, and sometimes, though less often, relating to him as a runner. I am not what he would consider a serious runner, though I don't think I am the person he (and I am paraphrasing) might identify as someone whose doctor just told them they are heading down Heart Attack Lane, either.

I certainly can relate to his emphasis on keeping his breathing in check. It is all I can focus on when I am getting discouraged. It is all I focus on when I first get going. I know if I get too winded the whole run will become an excruciating mess and I will hate it. So, I spend a good amount of time thinking on that.

I also relate to how he says that he doesn't think of anything in particular or how he may take something bad that has happened to him and channel it into his running. By taking that pent up disappointment, frustration or anger and putting it into something cathartic, that leaves him stronger and better in the end, he doesn't let the negative get him down. After reading that, I notice I can use running in a similar way. I may think about things while running but not deeply. Instead, like I am putting them in a box and running on them. I come out better and in spite of the negativity that would otherwise suck me in, wasting my time.

I sprint at the end to tell my muscles I expect more, even though at the end I am most tired. I feel happy when it is over. I have not yet felt I could have run more. No, I am usually ready to stop. When I do feel I can run more is when I hit the half way point. That's good only because I can then push my half way further and so little by little increase my distance. I am now at 4.2 km. That's 4 km more than 2 months ago when I started running up a hill at the end of my walk.

So, while I am relating to some things, finding how I can frame other things, and learning about myself as a runner, I also found an apropos comparison to his running post-completion of an unltramarathon (running 62 miles in a day) and my teaching post MA.

He writes (And I am not paraphrasing, because he is just such an acute writer),

"At this point, a new feeling started to well up in me -- nothing as profound as a feeling of pride, but at least a certain sense of completion. A personal feeling of happiness and relief that I had accepted something risky and still had the strength to endure it. In this instance, relief outweighed happiness. It was like a tight knot inside me was gradually loosening, a knot I'd never even realized, until then, was there.

...Still the most significant fall out from running the ultramarathon wasn't physical but mental. What I ended up with was a sense of lethargy, and before I knew it, I felt covered in a film, something I have since dubbed runner's blues... I lost the enthusiasm I always had for the act of running itself... it's as if loosening that knot I'd never noticed before slackened my interest along with it. It wasn't just that my desire to run had decreased. At the same time I had lost something, something new had also taken root deep within me as a runner. And most likely this process of one thing existing while another comes in had produced this unfamiliar runner's blues.

And what about this new thing inside me? I can't find the exact words to describe it, but it might be something close to resignation... somewhere after the 47th mile, my mind went into a blank state you might even call philosophical or religious. Something urged me to become more introspective, and this new found introspection transformed my attitude toward the act of running. "

Murakami continued doing his yearly marathon and eventually he came out of his blues, which is where I think I am now, 2 years after finishing my degree. It is as if, for me, the introspection that came along with the reading, reflecting, analyzing and writing for 2 intense years left me untied, no longer so fiercely knotted to what teaching had meant to me before, but not yet anchored in what teaching meant to me after. As if after, I was still trying to figure who I, Catherine-as-teacher, was in light of all that I had learned and what teaching should be in light of my context. My MA was not something that left me definitive about anything (unlike some of my counterparts, who I so envy), except perhaps that I had to change, question and constantly strive to go beyond my status quo. Yet, I was so philosophical about it, I think I had checked reality at the door a bit and was just coasting along for about a year and a half.

This is not to say I wasn't a better teacher. I believe I was and I think those who knew me before would say so. However, I don't think I had the same drive. Maybe because the road looked so different that I didn't know where I was going. Maybe because I saw SO MANY signs that I had to stop all the time to think about them and it slowed me down. I wasn't the bullet train who just blew through the classroom with my atmosphere, but instead I was the slow train, with big windows for seeing out while also catching my own reflection.

This year has been one of my best, I now think. I am not tired anymore and I have the challenge of 5th and 6th grade, which I didn't have last year. My MA, while it may have unknotted me, it also got me doing a project that revealed how I could do better. It also got me connected to people who could help me see deeper and now I feel that euphoria again.

Like Murakami, running no longer became the point of his life as teaching was no longer the point of mine. While it is a crucial point, I see life more like a star now, with things like cooking, running (the newest), family life (both in Japan and America) and I hope someday parenthood on the different ends. Like I am brighter now, perhaps because I can reflect more as I take in energy from a multitude of sources. No longer is a bad teaching day a bad me day. I'll come home and make a fabulous loaf of bread, run a little further and know I have more people and resources to rely on to fix the issue. Or perhaps, I can fix it myself, recognizing that I am stronger, in many ways, than I was before.

Ahahahahahaha!

2010-09-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

Magnificent weather, friends, views and, of course, the river. This trip to Eigenji was one of my favorites. 10 people stayed over night and the laughter was one of the best parts. Like anyone, I love laughing, but what I really mean here is the way some people's laughter sounds! I was with people who had unbridled, affected and just plain charming laughter. One, my dear old friend, has a laugh that could rival Goofy's. Li and I were waiting on the edge of our seats for something to strike his funny bone just right, so his normal laugh would go Goofy and finally, it did! Twice. I nearly pissed myself when I looked at Li. The other was Mari, whose strong laugh commanded attention and made us laugh even harder. It is an "I-don't-give-an-ef-what-you-think-cause-that-is-funny" laugh. Which means it was loud and done without covering her mouth. She is now one of my favorite people.

We arrived around 3 after visiting grandma in the hospital. She is about the size of a chimpanzee to begin with, but prior to the month in the hospital, she was also nearly as strong. Now, I think her strength rates somewhere around an active 70 year old. Problem is, compared to a chimp, that is a step back. She is quite worried about having lost her 93 year old muscle mass and does her best to get around with the tubes in. We are hoping she will be out next week.

Li had arrived already with Mashi and were trying to decide which spots to take. Our perfect place from last year was occupied, the owner having mistaken where we had requested. In the end it was perfect. Our living/dining area was shaded and right next to the river sink, and the slope down to the river was just on the right. At the bottom, a small sandy spot led us into the cool water where fish and turtles were caught by our small campers, Sara and Rin.

You may notice I don't have pictures. I think I have become a total slog when it comes to snapping shots recently. I hardly took any when I was home either. I find it cumbersome to always have a camera and I forget my phone is one.

Speaking of phones, I had reception out there, which was impressive as Softbank (the iPhone carrier) has notoriously bad service. Maybe it has improved? I used it only once in 24 hours; for music when I did a run the first afternoon. 32 minutes and a lot of uphill! I didn't even stretch but jumped right into the cold river, floating down stream without a care in the world. Lisa said to wait until I get runner's euphoria. Then I will really wonder what worldly cares are or perhaps ever were! Sounds like taking drugs!

Unable to keep my eyes open further I will sign off. But, I want to report that I am running over 4 km now, and my love for camping, nature and friends runs deeper than 4 days ago. I am grateful for the blessings in my life and I hope I can always sustain these bonds and see the good through it all, enjoying laughter all along the way.

In case you were wondering...

2010-09-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

...what rice looks like when forgotten in the rice cooker for several hot days. To be fair, the rice didn't change, but the cooker was the perfect host for this web of mold. It made a perfect cloud like nest, resembling cotton or the womb of tent caterpillars. Hungry?

...I am thinking I should share recipes which I get from popular cooking magazines, but translate them into English and add my touch.

...I can now run 3.5ish km. Before, if I said 3.8, I was mistaken. I take it back. Might get there tomorrow though as 3.5 is getting easier.

...We will be camping for 3 days with our friends. There we were last year. One of my favorite 3 day weekends of the year!

And finally... the cool Autumn air has come to us, bringing rain and breezes to a very parched populace. The plants probably don't mind either.

Stream of Conscience

2010-09-10T05:15:00.001-07:00

Finally cooling off, though the days remind you of their noontime heat by leaving a good sticky layer behind upon retreat.

Running: check. 3-4 times a week. Up to 3.5 km or 2.2 miles. Nothing short of a miracle for me. No feeling like I want to stop, so that's cool. Saw a foreign guy yesterday when I was out. We acknowledged each others existence, which all too often is ignored.

I see the "say 'Hi' or say nothing coin" from different sides: I don't acknowledge all the Japanese people I see, so why should I acknowledge every foreign person I see? This is just my life. If we are both shopping, we are simply doing what normal people do and there is no reason to do anything other than go about our business. I also sometimes get the feeling that by acknowledging another foreigner, who is, let's say, doing their grocery shopping in the same store, that their experience in this foreign land is being watered down. Like seeing another foreigner breaks us from some state of feeling like we are the sole "other" in Japan and by another "other" being there that a sense of this country's foreignness is diluted. Personally, I think I could just give an ef most of the time cause I am thinking about other stuff, like what to cook for dinner, what something that happened in class that day meant or what I'll wear the next day. I'll keep working on this idea.

John, my sis-in-law's nephew, just left for Tokyo for his 1 year study abroad. We had him for 4 days and it was nice. He's a good kid. Said thank you, tried and asked later, never complained. Next time I will know to serve more meat. I forget how important meat is to most people. I eat it in any quantity and the next day I am guaranteed to have issues. It's just how it is and I don't know why. I can live without it.

Sunday should be fun with a brilliant speaker coming to talk at out ETJ meeting. Kim Horne will go down in history over here. She's a powerhouse and so creative. Love. her. Love many of the people who come to see her, too. Really going to be a great day. Which reminds me that I better start getting ready for my November presentation at JALT. "Operation no procrastination" is in effect. Thankfully, I am co-presenting and my partner is really a great can-do person. So, I think we should be fine and in plenty of time!

I gave my little guy students their accomplishment certificates today and the joy! Oh boy, to be 3 and get a certificate and a badge on your bag! Hot damn! Then to have Mommy smiling with pride at ya'! Double hot damn! I'd take that over paying bills any day! No, I really would love to see my Mom's face as I get a certificate again. She was always so proud of me.

Speaking of Mom, she came out of her shell one day a few weeks ago. It was insane! I'd not heard her talk that much in over 2 1/2 years! It was like her old self just popped out where she left off for a brief moment. She spoke about things she saw on TV, things she saw back then as if they were today. She acknowledged how scary it is that she can't remember things and she said, "You know, I can't walk anymore. I can't drive either," as if her old self was meeting her current self. I've heard of bad trips, but to see someone having one is almost as painful. I cried after we hung up and shook my head at the fucking weirdness of Alzheimer's. At least she remembers me, even if she doesn't remember that I was just there for a month.

Hotter 'an H-E- doubles hockey sticks!

2010-08-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

If only it were a cold as a hockey rink... but I'd complain about that, too. It is my third day with no AC. Working at home while sitting in my own sweat is just... well, I keep thinking that it is good for my skin. A cold shower at the end of the day is the liquid form of heaven. Amen!

Hiro is working everyday, but it was slow on Saturday and Sunday, so we went off in search of an AC on Saturday, right about the time that I have to do something less I succumb to the jet lag. They say it is easier traveling home and I think they say it because it is true. I've had no real problem, minus the first day when I headed into class looking like a zombie. 10 minutes in and it was like it never happened. So much for that.

I've managed to do all the laundry and tonight made a Japanese-Italian fusion dinner that included zucchini multigrain rice with garlic and parmesan, hijiki pepperochini, and sliced tomatoes with garden picked basil, fresh mozzarella, sprinkled with S&P and drizzled with olive oil. Scrumptious!

Speaking of food, I miss the humus of home. And I also miss making homemade granola. So nice when it is warm out of the oven and great with Chobani greek yogurt in the morning or as an afternoon snack. Sigh. Will be home again in 4 months and what do I have to moan about really when fall in Japan offers some seriously delish produce (Hello, pumpkin!) (Nice to see you again persimmons!). Yup, my NHK "kyo no gohan" (Tonight's Dinner) is all marked with the recipes I want to try.

Otherwise, I am back to running but still doing aerobics. PA was the perfect temp for running and the scenery was so nice I wanted to be outside in it. So, I started walking, which turned into walk-running. PA is shaped like a western woman, rolling hills in all the right places, so I got used to running on inclines of different degrees and it has made running on flat land here simple. So, we'll see if I keep it up or throw my hands up and say, "Kathy Smith, take me away!"

I like to jump

2010-04-09T17:28:00.000-07:00

I got a call last night and one friend is already out of the race. I loved his thinking, too. It was so honest and well, true to himself. He said that for him running is such a personal thing and he worries that a race will change that for him. I said that I didn't see it as a true race, to which he retorted, "Have you seen me play Pictionary?" I have...

...and now you have! So, I really understand what he meant.

Funnily, I have a similar face when playing games and I guess I thought the race would motivate me to get my ass in running gear. So while it did for like 2 weeks at a time, it always staled when the reality hit me that I like to jump, not run. I like leotarded women to say thing to me like, "1 and 2 and 3 and 4. Once more! You got it! Push it now!" I am and forever will be a cheerleader and aerobics is the closest I get to that nowadays. And that is fine. I don't need bows and pleated skirts, but I do need the jumping and clapping. Go Team Me!

The Race?

2010-04-06T00:48:00.000-07:00

Workout: 30 minutes of aerobics

Feeling: Spaced

Dessert: a clean house and laundry done

Well, the running has halted. And I don't care anymore. I am not going to freak out about it. I mean, this is how it is. Hiro's allergies flared up and I just said NEVERMIND! So, I am doing aerobics, 3-4 times a week and that's that. It's what I do, what I like the most, and so I do it instead of run.

Does this mean I will never run again? No. I still have the 18th to contend with, but no one seems to know what is happening with it. So, we'll see if it is actually on. One friend said we should do our own thing. Interesting idea, but I like that it is for a cause. Anyway, I am still exercising. So, maybe I will be OK? Just glad to know I am still on the wagon, even if I am not running on the wagon.

We did a little extra

2010-03-19T04:00:00.001-07:00

Workout: Wk2D2+5 minute more, 10 minutes stretching

Feeling: Great!

Dessert: Hubby is cooking dinner!

I thought on D1 we did 5 minutes less than we should have, so I taked on 5 more minutes by mistake. What's great is that we felt great at the end, put our hands together in thanks, and held hands during the cool down walk. I was quite sore after the other day, maybe more the yoga after than anything, but we took 3 days off in between, mostly because of Hiro's late returns each night. No complaints because tonight was brilliant, and well, we plan to go again tomorrow. He gets home earlier and we want to stay on track with the training. I skipped yoga today so I wouldn't feel so sore. We'll see how it goes.

I see runners now and I don't think, man, they are crazy. I think, man, they are cool and they make it look so easy. So maybe one day it will be easier? Maybe more days will be like tonight, when I forget to look at the clock to see if I can walk yet, or pick up the pace on the last leg, like an olympic jumper who springs like a gazelle before leaping into the sand pit. Well, maybe not so sprightly, but that's how I look in my head: healthy, full of tenacity, determined to get further than the last time.

How time flies...

2010-03-15T01:41:00.000-07:00

I spent five weeks thinking about writing this post, so here it goes!  Five weeks ago I did the splits, first time since high school. I   graduated in 1996. OUCH! I should also mention for your laughing   pleasure that this painful event didn't happen in the privacy of my   home or because I was trying to make my husband randy. No. It happened   on an icy main road, while in the middle ( as in dead center) of a   cross walk, while wearing a skirt. Yes, Kyoto traffic has been   personally introduced to my stockinged bits. You're welcome!

My body  hurt so bad that walking sent pangs into my knees and ankles, muting   my hurting ego, slightly. So, take some time off, fine, had   carpenters and contractors at our place every night anyway asking us   what flooring, wall paper, etc we wanted. No running.  And then Saturday came and I thought, "Gee, my throat sure does feel   scratchy and boy, I don't feel at all up to the long awaited girls'   night tonight." I love a good party, so that was all I needed to   realize that I was sick! And by sick, I mean it took 2 weeks to get better.   No voice, achy, and just generally felt miserable! No fever, which I   just never seem to get and I am convinced therefore that everything   takes longer to go away.

Then, we moved! All 3 tons of our stuff was carried down one flight into a truck, driven a mile, and then loaded into an elevator until finally being carried down one flight and into our shiny new place. How those young bucs managed to carry al 3 tons, well, I dunno'. Wait, yes, I do! They were mega young. But very good at their job .The leader was so cute telling his younger counterpart how to move this and that so no scratches would be left. Good kids, I'd say. THough, if they had been my students, I am pretty sure they would have been the ones who were staring out the windows...

So, here I am, 5 weeks later and we have just done, wait for it...

Wk2D1. Terrbly behind, but at least we are on the running wagon! Doubt we can do 6 K in the race, but I will be thrilled to run 3 and walk the other 3. That's life, you know, do what you can. Hope is not gone and I got my health!

Remember this feeling

2010-01-22T01:40:00.000-08:00

Workout: W2D3, 15 minutes yoga and stretching

Feeling: Great, but getting nervous as the runs will get longer next time

Dessert: Husband is cooking tonight's meal

Off we went in a different direction. We went in search of a route from our new home! We'll be moving in a month to our 4 bedroom mansion (that's a condo in the U.S.). It's only a 3 minute walk from the subway station, 1 stop from JR, and down the road from the highway entrance. It's soon to be renovated and with keys in hand as of yesterday I am psyched to go take the "before" shots! The outside is freshly painted and I felt very lucky when I saw it from the backside as we approached down Gojo Dori.

Now I feel even luckier, because we discovered that it is very close to our river side path. We can easily take back roads with little traffic (aka fuming exhaust pipes) and arrive at the river in about 3 minutes, or 2 once we are running the whole thing. We went and returned maintaining a very nice pace. Our best pace to date. I take my slightly queezy feeling and most gazelle like gait as evidence that we are improving our stride. Makes me think we may be OK next week when we begin the next phase.

I do feel it was a little harder this week, but only ever so slightly. Like if I were to measure it, I would say it was 1/8 of an inch harder. I suppose next week will be more challenging, but if I can remember how I feel right now... I am stronger doing downward dog into a yogi push-up and upward bend then back up to downward dog, I have more energy for life, I am sleeping like a downward dog, and while the scale shows only slight improvement, my clothes, I think, look better on and off.

The biggest challenge will be remembering these great things as the weeks get harder. We already know we can do this. People twice our age do it. So why we do it is more important to recall... remember this feeling!

Come rain or come shine...

2010-01-20T04:56:00.000-08:00

Workout: W2D2, 20 minutes yoga and stretching

Feeling: Damn good

Dessert: This post (I waited until I finished writing to add this)

I was totally anticipating running tonight, like a kid waiting for the 3 o'clock bell to ring so she can go home and play. Except, when I exited the train station it was raining. Hiro came to get me and I said, "Well, we can go anyway!" "He laughed while munching on potato sticks. I got all cross and started to proclaim how committed I am to this program, and getting back into shape. He kept munching and laughing. Oh the annoyance!

I told him that I was disappointed in his laughing and that we were both teetering on being beyond unhealthy and into fatty fatville. Truth is, he doesn't look it with clothes on, and even with clothes off he can pass for having a semi-flat spare tire. I probably look "healthy" in the US, but here, I am a cottage cheese mess, a blob of cream cheese in a plastic tube, synched at both ends by a thick chain link fence type metal. A sausage, if you will. I spouted and as I did the sky stopped.

We got out of the car, came in, changed and off we went. It was unusually warm today and tonight was no exception. I threw on a baseball cap, as opposed to my fleece lined wooly, and left the long johns in the drawer. The smell of wet pavement, the rushing river, and a quicker pace with Hiro really kept me going. We went faster than when I went alone, measured by the slightly longer distance we covered in the same time. I guess D2 isn't proving the hardest. Then again, W1 and W2 aren't really hard.

I have one more day left and I am already thinking about when I'll go... Friday a.m. perhaps, or maybe evening before we go to help Hiro's family. They have a 70 bento (lunch box) order for Saturday and we are both off. I could use the day to work on consulting stuff, but they have helped us innumerable times. They help just because. They've contributed funds to us along the way "just because", picked me up at the station and drove me home endless times when we lived down the road from them, paid for things for MY MOTHER, and have been extremely understanding about my pursuit of an MA and career. Plus, his 93 year old grandma, who still works and cooks dinner everyday, is an inspiration to me so much so that by just being around her I feel like I am standing next to history.

Anywho, I look forward to the next post, simply because I will have completed W2 then and will be slightly nervous as I anticipate W3D1.

I looked forward to it...

2010-01-17T04:16:00.000-08:00

Workout: Week 2, Day 1. 90 seconds running, 120 walking alternate 6 times. 15 minutes yoga and stetching

Feeling: Really good

Dessert: I saw a muscrat

So today I headed out alone. I was listening to one of my favorite comedians and just soaking in the atmosphere of our little walking path. We always go at night, but during the day there is a whole walking path world out there. People with HUGE cameras taking pictures of tiny birds, tennis players, a unicyclist, runners, walkers, bikers, etc all enjoying our the outdoors. Not to mention the river life: carp, egrets, and my favorite a muskrat! I have yet to see one in Japan, so that was a highlight.

Hiro's knee has been bothering him, so I went it alone, but I am happy to say that he is just taking a break because he agreed to join me in a 6 K run in April. My girlfriend is joining us, and then we are all joining another friend. So, I am quite exited, albeit nervous already! It will be my first race and we just began running.

Well, I think this is what it is all about anyway. I like to have have goals, and that 5K isn't just a number to make myself feel good. In fact, as the race reminds us, it is less than the distance that people all around the world have to walk to get water. So, the race is in honor of those people and will feature water education events, along with live music and of course the run. See here... http://www.joinliveearth.org/page/event/detail/4jj8z

So, I have a ways to go, but the feeling that I wanted to go running today, even alone, was encouraging.

Gas? Boo!

2010-01-15T04:39:00.000-08:00

Workout: Couch to 5K week 1, run 2+3, 15 minutes yoga and stretching

Feeling: Better than Wednesday, MUCH better than Sunday

Dessert: Feeling better than Wednesday

Wednesdays I teach until 8 and get home around 8:45, so I eat a light lunch then snack on nuts, fruit, crackers, cheese, greens, etc until I go to my first class at 5:15. I eat enough that I feel full until the next morning when I wake hungry and ready for a nice breaky. Wednesday came, except when I was slurping my tea during class, I think I slurped in a lot of air, which led to terrible discomfort.

Usually I would take my unrivaled belly-ouch-killer, akadama (red beads: natural medicine that literally clears you up in minutes), but being the curious Cat I decided to see if running clears up tummy bubbles, or in this case an ever expanding balloon! My experiment ended badly. My tummy felt hard, and crooked. I didn't even stretch. I went for the red wonders, swallowed and then prayed. Prayers almost completely answered I shower and slept.

Tonight, on the other hand, my legs felt powerful and our pace was brilliant! I felt like I was running faster, harder, better. The running made me feel a little icky towards the last seconds, but when the walk portion came I recovered and could push a little harder during the next running span. Hiro seemed to think nothing was different, other than that he ate less dinner so felt lighter. I kept asking, "How do you feel?" as if his answer would change and he would say he felt as good as I did. I think I wanted him to, but, well, he is not me.

(An aside: This is a good New Year's Resolution for me... remember that your husband is not you! If he wants to make pancakes after running and eat them, that's his choice. You ate chocolate today. If he doesn't want to stretch for 15 minutes, fine. Stick to what you want, your path; let him stick to what he wants and his path.)

Anyway, we go up in running v walking time next week. I am ready for it. I like the gradual pace of this program. I am not too sore or tired. If anything I feel good and have more energy. All common sense stuff when you exercise, but having been on the couch for so long I almost feel like you might when you rediscover the slide or see-saw in the park. You know you could still do it and that it's always there, but you forgot how fun it was and "adult" stuff just seems more important. Rubbish that; I like the see-saw!

Running tip: Add Stevie Wonder "Part-time Lover" to your playlist.

Couch to 5K

2010-01-10T14:28:00.000-08:00

http://tiny.cc/1P6IZ

Workout: 5 minutes brisk walk, 20 minutes run/walk with intervals of 1 minute running and 1 1/2 minutes walking.

After: yoga 10 minutes

Feeling: Good

Dessert: Watched "The Blind Side"

This workout seems so much more doable than ones we have done before. We tried the Hal Higgins 30/30 one, but it required doing it everyday and neither of us could keep up with that due to our work schedules. This one requires only a 25 minute commitment 3 days a week. Very doable!

After 3 months I should be able to run for 30 minutes. Also seems like a doable goal, and not one where I injure myself. I have a tendency to do much from the stat, instead of working up slowly. This work out does just that. So, I am hopeful!

I read Murakami's book, Why I Run and while reading the blog of a friend's sister-in-law, who is an avid runner, I felt this sense of I can do this. Simply, if I choose to, then I will. Murakami talks about it just being one more thing he does during his day, like brushing his teeth. It is routine. I remember when my life with exercise was like that. I enjoyed it and it was just what I did. Everyday. Somehow it became a did and not a do. Well, thank goodness I can choose.

Monday, I will do pilates. Tuesday, I choose to run.

Vacation Exercise

2010-01-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Well, California was glorious! Long walks everyday, a yoga class, and then... I got sick. Everything stopped dead in it's tracks. Ah, hell!

Well, then we went to PA. Soooooooooo cold! Second day Hiro and I braved the bitterness of Mother Nature and took a long walk through the neighborhoods of Norman Rockwell. It was so nice to see the old houses. Felt like I stepped back in time. Nice walking back up the hill, too.

Did the treadmill and some yoga on my second to last day, and other than that bathed Mom, changed her, etc, which is a mini workout.

So, looks like I got some work to do now that I am home. Just glad I am no longer sick and have discovered that even a little yoga can go a long way.

Happy New Year!

River walking

2009-12-13T05:44:00.000-08:00

Workout: 30 minutes walking Saturday and Sunday along the Kamo River

Feeling: Great to be alive and outside

Dessert: Lisa to talk with on Saturday

Kyoto has one of the nicest rivers to walk along. Lined with old buildings, homes, new hotels, and trendy restaurants, filled with birds and clean water, and right in the middle of the city the Kamo is like a vital vein for this city's health! I feel so lucky when I have the chance to walk there.

Lisa and I agreed to meet and walk from Kyoto to Sanjo and at a nice pace we got there in about 40 minutes. Today, I walked from my friends house to Sanjo in about 30 minutes. My mind was blank and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I actually marveled for a few moments that my mind was blank. So seldom happens.

Tomorrow I will go back to aerobics I think. Not sure which one I want to do, but I am glad Nadine told me to get by ass in gear. I actually pictured myself doing sit ups when she said it. Grrr!

I like 20/10

2009-12-10T01:00:00.000-08:00

Workout: Kathy Smith 20 minute mixed with calorie bursts (of which I did 3 of the bursts), 10 minute stretch :)

Feeling: Better. My headache is gone!

Dessert: I bought a small crochet hook

I have made a concerted effort to take the steps at ALL stations, even the ones with stupidly long lasting climbs. Well, once I took the elevator, but I had bags.

I didn't workout yesterday, though I should admit that if I had tried, I could have squeezed in a 20 minute one between my morning and evening work. My excuse is that I didn't sleep well the night before. Not such a good one, but did I mention all those steps!?

Well, tomorrow is another day and I am home working, so no excuses, I'll be back!

Back on the wagon

2009-12-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

Workout: Kathy Smith 20 minute mixed aerobics, 7 minute stretch

Feeling: Good

Dessert: Sun shining through a completely open window and the hibiscus, onto my whitening winter skin. Armpits up!

After a long time of inactivity, false starts, and blah, I decided that to try and prevent this from becoming another false-start, I would blog about my progress.

My exercise shorts are a bit tighter. Breasts are MUCH bigger, as are my bum, hips, arms, tummy... Imagine my tummy will be flat again soon, as it is always the first to go, but those hips and bum will take time. Ah well, I got more life in me yet, so let's see if I can get back to my pre-wedding 61 kilos (135 lbs), muscle toned, and fierce self. I'd be happy with 140 though.

Operation, exercise anytime of day because your schedule is irratic, so deal with it and stop wishing it was regular like it was before the wedding (5 years ago), has begun. It's fine to shower at weird times!!! Be fierce with irregularity!

Feeling: Fired up.

A Letter to my niece

2009-09-05T19:09:00.000-07:00

Hey Honey!

It is my greatest pleasure to be your Aunt. I am able to instill in you an awareness of what life holds when you become an adult. You will have many, many choices. Choices increase as you get older. However, it is hard to know what the right choice is, so we have to develop skills that make us good decision makers. I think I am doing well in my choices, and I want you to have similar success. My family never gave up on me, even when I made stupid choices. I think they knew I could LEARN FROM those misses. I believe you can, too, as you are showing that you have learned from some of yours. I promise to not give up on you!

I think the most important things to remember about life are 1) learn from your mistakes (though sometimes you will make the same mistake twice, just don't do it a third or fourth time!) 2) remember that things will always get better, even when you feel so desperate and that everything is bad 3) don't give up on what you want in life.

Well, we have so much more to talk about. Life is a journey, not a destination, Lexi! I am so happy to be part of your journey!

I love you deeply!

XO,

Aunt Catie

The Wada Affair

2009-06-07T06:29:00.001-07:00

The drive was cloudy; I cried for a good 20 minutes. I thought back on our 7 year musical journey as "The Wada Affair". While many people came and went, Jason, Mr. and Mrs. Wada, Jun, and I have been a constant. Now, one of us has left.

Today we toasted Jason, his irreplaceable contribution as lead guitarist, blues harpist, and my partner in silliness. J and I have known each other since we were students here in Japan. Then, we both came back to teach English on the JET program. One day he called me and said he had joined a band and wondered if I would be their lead singer.

For the first 4 years in the Wada Affair we would ride to practice together, talking the whole way about our former lives as wanna' be hippies, as Americans, as children. We talked about Japan and Japanese. And of course we talked about music: PHISH, Dead, Talking Heads, John Lennon, Pizzacato, Cibo Matto. What I now realize is that we never talked about people, at least not in the perjoritive sense. We just talked about topics that made us laugh because they involved good memories or good music, or helped us to reflect on parts of our lives that we needed to or had already changed.

I was there when he met his wife, Hiroko. She is perfect for him. I mean, really perfect for him. I know she will take good care of him when they go. She is grounded and sensible, but still silly like us. She played guitar with us for 3 years, too. I love her laugh and her easy going disposition. She is very easy to be around.

With them leaving, the band is heading into very unknown waters. I am not pleased. I love all the members, but if we were a family, Mrs. Wada was Mom, Mr. W was Dad, Jun was our uncle and J and I were the brother and sister. While you love your Mom, Dad, and Uncle, you aren't close in the same way. Your sibling speaks the same slang (in our case the same first language, too), and they like the same music. They get your DL remarks, they can read your mood, and they can make you laugh while everyone else talks about adult stuff.

Jason, you were a great brother! I'll miss you and I wish you and Hiroko lots of luck in the U.S.!

Kyoto

2009-06-01T05:21:00.000-07:00

Moving to Kyoto has been the best thing Hiro and I have ever done as a couple. Possibly getting life insurance will someday take it's place; but let's hope not. Until then, I will remain convinced that Kyoto kind of saved me!

Training to Graduation

2009-06-01T05:06:00.000-07:00

I gave my first collegiate teacher training on Saturday. I say collegiate because it was for a college, not a professional organization or publisher. I am extremely pleased with how I did it. It was not just a "Things you can do on Monday" training, but one which incorporated brainstorming and reflection. A balanced approach.

One teacher commented after, "You have philosophy, something Japanese teacher education lacks." I am not sure if that is wholly true, but I suppose that has been her experience. I didn't have philosophy before my MA, and it really made me feel that the two hard years I spent going for it were totally worth it! I leave for graduation on July 15th!

Happy that Daddy is coming to see me walk. Happy too that I can talk with the current second year students about my research. While I consider it a bit of a mess (it was my first one), it makes me happy to give some pointers about maybe what NOT to do, and that even if it is messy, you will still get something very valuable out of it. And once it is done, you have so much sleep to look forward to!

Hokkaido!

2009-05-04T08:26:00.000-07:00

We have finally been to Hokkaido, the Northern island. At times I felt like I was looking at a South Beach neighborhood with lots of colorful houses, somewhat spaced out. Honshu is more of a brown house smear, houses so close you can hear your neighbor come home, cook, and gargle. L&M invited us and we jumped. M is the master of finding travel deals. His nickname is "Otoku Man", translated literally as "Special Deal Man"! We even got free coffee at the airport from an actual restaurant. Hayai, umai, yasui!

I have taken L's sister-in-law's idea and narrowed these down to 20 pics with 20 words.

Hokkaido

Classic

Relaxing

Locals

Kani!

Yummy!

English?

Otaru

Cheers!

Microbrew

Love

Views

Silliness

Spring

Poplars

Friends

Fashion-smashion

Sapporo

Ramen

Meiji-era

Fun day at an elementary school

2009-03-12T06:01:00.000-07:00

Leaving the first school, my face hurt!

I had spent the morning facilitating English interviews with 52 6th graders. 2 students came in at a time and we basically just asked one another questions about each other and our countries. I was incredibly impressed by these students! They are not from upper socio-economic areas, nor are they at schools with tons of ALTs, technology, or any other bells and whistles!

However, they do have teachers who apply for funding so that the schools can become centers for classroom research. The teachers professionally develop, help add to the rather barren pool of Japanese elementary school English education know-how (that is finally experiencing quantified and qualified growth), and build programmes that create nascent communicators. Many kids who mocked English have become quite proficient for their exposure level!

I would casually ask them how they were as they came in and 9 out of 10 said, "I'm happy". I smiled, said, "Me, too." and then spent another 3 minutes learning, joking, and laughing with them. Three cheers for classroom researchers and dedicated teachers! Three cheers for the kids who give us all a purpose! Three cheers for a face that hurts from smiling!

Trainings

2009-02-15T23:24:00.000-08:00

Well, I have given 2 trainings and have one left in Tokyo. I will be nervous from Saturday, but until then, I will simply write about my experience so far.

People always think I am not nervous. My pal Lisa said, "You have a combination of a calm demeanor, genkiness (spiritedness) to keep everyone excited, and a nice voice". Thanks, Lisa, but truth be told, my digestive system is whacked out completely from the night before, only giving me respite once I get on stage.

Being up there in front of everyone makes you wholly committed. My sis-in-law's friend once walked off the stage as she was beginning a one woman show. Kathryn said, "She did what everyone wants to do." I thought this made sense, what Kathryn said, but actually, I don't want to walk off. I want to shine.

I also want desperately, to make sense. To be inclusive, to stick to my main point, to bring everything full circle, to make people say, "Oh, yes, I hadn't thought of that" or "Oh, man, I thought it was just me!" or "Yes, I can do that" or "I don't get it, I will have to ask her after". The last one is important for me.

I got several important bits of feedback from participants. One of the most thought provoking was from a Japanese teacher, who said that she felt that what I had proposed for the parents to do (be involved in their children's English homework and to make comments about how their child did) was too much for parents. I agreed that it could seem this way, but thought for a moment, and said that if teacher could help parents understand that their involvement would make a difference, and that they can be of use, then maybe they would find their effort worth it.

Parents need to be educated, and certain parents more than others. Speaking with my Longman colleagues, I had an ah-ha moment when one said it is precisely the "education mothers" who need to be educated about education. They are so ignorant, that they want their child to learn anything and everything, at any cost. This ignorance makes them total nightmares, pressuring their kids, making teachers crazy, and probably graying their own hairs.

Parents and children should not feel pressured any more than they should feel happy to be learning. Learning should be fun, and if it is seen as having a grander purpose, say, having fun learning a practical thing, then the goal becomes a purpose. When parents and children learn together to achieve common knowledge (shared schema), using and sharing that in their everyday lives, they move into a practical purposeful life, where new meaning can be exchanged, and connections can be made.

My personal experience of reading a story to my mother is always a reminder of this. In second grade, I read a book called, Bunnicula, about a vampire bunny. It was cute, engaging, and I hated to put it down. I read to Mom as she drove me 45 minutes to school everyday. We talked about that book a lot that year, and also over the years. It became a shared experience, something we enjoyed together. I learned about the joy of reading a good book, and received an A+ on my book report, which she saved. Learning together was fun, and the car was a shared learning space.

I tell parents to create an English space (I should tell my audience this...), to have a cushion or a corner that you use for English time. Then, use that English time language when you are doing other things. Simple things, like telling your child it is time to "sit down" at the table. Or, "stand up" so you can pick up something they sat on.

My love of reading a good book started in the passenger seat of the car, but eventually I could drive that car, a metaphor for taking shared learning into my own hands. I hope that parents who embrace a role in their child's learning will see their little one drive, too.

Should I run...?

2009-01-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I wonder, "Is that human or crow?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I start looking around.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

I see man screaming at the top of his lungs. Back arched, head turned skyward, fists clenched.

Everyone is looking. He stops, turns around, and walks back into the insurance agency.

I feared it would be Akihabara- man with knife randomly stabbing people. I kept walking, looking over my back every 5 steps. In the station, phew. Now, safe on the train. Kind of laughing, but absolutely hope that whatever he was upset about has passed.

Where did he get his reporting skills?

2009-01-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

I am sure everyone has heard about this, but today, I saw a news report about a woman who had octuplets! First of all- WOAH! I hope she has a lot of very close friends and family near by! 300+ diapers a week! Yikes!

However, this is not what surprised me the most. The reporter states how the Mom hasn't come out to say anything to the press- cut to a shot of a camera man trying to get a glimpse through a hospital window 5 stories up. It reminded me of like... a dog trying to get at his ball that has rolled under the deck. Sniff, sniff, peek, peek, dig with one paw.

Cut to scene with doctors talking to a room full of press. The kind woman doctor explains to all the clicking cameras that the Mom is fine, resting, recovering now, 24 hours after the births.

Cut back to the local newsman, "Still no word form the mother," he says disappointedly, ending his report. For fuck's sake man, did you not just hear the doctor? Do you have no brain or better yet ears to go with that thoughtless mouth? 8 babies, 24 hours before!

I hope 8 grapefruits come out of his penis!

That's all I have to say about that.

Ramen

2009-01-19T03:52:00.000-08:00

I have fallen off the wagon into "no posting blogs" territory. However, I am not going to stay there, so I figured I would see where my mind might take me...

I have been back for a little over 1 week and already managed to have a fabulous time with friends- twice! How lucky am I?! The first time was a nice day with L&M- we hiked, did a public bath, had some beer, sushi, a nap, and then watched a movie. Pretty calm and relaxing. Until...

C's birthday. C's b-day is an annual event (no sh&t Sherlock), but it is like no other yearly shin-dig. This one always entails debauchery, complete with women's breast, tequila, spanking, very very loud talking, more and more beer, hugging strangers, broken cell phones, people getting lost, piping hot and yummy ramen, and my favorite- a slight to major (depending on your age and the number of tequila shots) hangover and little to no voice (depending on how good you are at loud talking) the following day.

Every year we do it, and every year I promise that I will eat more before, so that I don't get horribly drunk. However, every year, somehow I just bypass the food and go straight to super loud talking, laughing.... no, cackling.... and end up so hungry I could eat not just a bowl of

ramen but the whole damned shop!

Ramen in Japan is what pizza is in the US. After a night of drinking you want pizza- a testament to the zillions of pizza shops on or near every college campus in the US. Here, we want ramen, and you don't have to go far to find one. But, just like pizza has many flavors, so does ramen, and people will go to blows, if drunk enough, over which shop is the best. I have a short list of personal favorites, but what is important to know is that each one makes the main broth, and then all of the other brothes in that shop are variations of the main one. Some are oily and rich, others salty and smooth. The amount of chopped green onions, whether it has chashu (a kind of pork), bamboo, or other veggies will depend on the type of ramen and ultimately the shop. No two places will taste the same- that is for sure! Hence, finding good ramen is much like an American's quest to find the best pizza. Once you find it you are loyal and tell all your friend about it. You bring guest there and you talk major shit about how great it is up until you go! You want them to know the deliciousness that it is, and to partake with you!

When Hiro and I moved to Yamashina, we soon tried the ramen place just across the street. THANK GOODNESS it is some of the best ramen I have ever had in Japan! They have this super freaking hot kind, with tons of veggies, pork, and Korean kimchi. It burns going in and coming out, but it has a taste that is like no other!

Now, the down side to ramen, is that much like pizza it is not very healthy, and if not eaten in moderation will add many a pound! However, working it off is worth it! Every sit up and aerobic jump!

Here are pics form our day with L&M

At the waterfall.

With rural Takatsuki behind us.

Hot form the hike. Yes, I am aware that I am overdressed for a hike, but it is all I had with.

Mmmmmm....

The chopsticks are resting on hashioki, which hold the chopsticks up o they do not touch the table. I have quite a number of them. I find them cute and such a nice accent to a decorated table.

Now, here are the pics from the debauchery, though these make it all look so tame! My friend Stu is a great photog, isn't he!?

In love and waiting for ramen...

Hiro eating, aka, happy Hiro.

Cat pouting... she didn't want L&M to leave...

Cat with Stu (the photog). Atticus in the background! Love his expression!

Zach

2009-01-10T01:25:00.000-08:00

7 year old Zachary

Zach is in second grade and is still a cute, innocent little boy with his eyes wide open to the world. Here are some of my favorite conversations heard and had:

Brother: "Zach, what did you do while we were gone?"

Zach: "I learned a lot, Dad.

Brother: "And what is it that you learned?"

Zach: "Ladies first. And don't eat before everyone is seated and served. It's rude."

Lexi: "Crap."

Zach: "Lexi, don't say the 'K' word."

Zach: "Catie, if you need someone to keep this book safe for you, you know, I could do it."

Catie: "Thanks Zach. I think I need to think about that. This is a special book and I need to decide if I want to take it back to Japan."

Zach: "OK, but if you want someone to keep it safe for you I'm the person who can do that."

Zach: "Catie, come see what I did."

Catie: "OK."

Zach: "So I organized this. Here are the books you gave me. This bunny one and the other ones. And here is the red stapler..."

Catie: "Know what? That was my stapler in college. And before that it was Nana's!"

Zach: "Well now it is in my showcase."

Zach: "Catie, I am going to put my glasses right here in this drawer, just like my Dad does."

Catie: "OK. Good idea, cause then you will know where they are."

Zach: "Yeah, just like my Dad."

Zach (paraphrasing what he said to my friend Kate and her sister): This is the movie Scooby Doo. It has this snowman who is evil. You can have a snowman, but he can't really be evil. But, you can have a real snowman and a real evil man, so I think it is realistic fiction.

Zach has many qualities of a good learner. He asks all the imperative questions, reads like a librarian, and has the glasses to complete the look. Totally precious!

Back in Nippon

2009-01-10T00:34:00.001-08:00

I am now back. I thought I would list the highlights of being home. I am terribly jet lagged and trying hard to stay awake until 10 p.m. Lot's to accomplish between now and then, but right now, this may be all I can muster the energy for...

California

my nephews

father's turkey dinner

brother's Italian pasta dinner

hiking to Inspiration Point with Kathryn

playing Wii with Julian

wine tasting with Todd

Licky Lila the dog

seeing Anita and John

seeing Jenna (and Robin after 25+ years)

listening to my nephews karaoke

driving the old Merz

long talks with my sister-in-law

annoying my brother Todd

making nephew Ian laugh (a rare occurrence nowadays)

Mexican food

seeing my brother at the studio

amazing salads

Sees assorted chocolates

drinking Carol tea

Virginia

giving Brian and Karen a vacation

learning about my family's history (see some below)

Zach reading to me

Zach's various Zachisms (see next post)

long talks with Lexi

Lexi confiding in me ("Catie, can I talk to you?")

driving a minivan with kids in it to the grocery store and holding hands with Zach in the parking lot

fixing healthy meals for the family

changing, bathing, and otherwise caring for my mother

treating the family for 10 days

helping to go through the storage unit (sorry I couldn't help more)

annoying brother Brian

the tread mill (didn't gain a pound, but managed to eat many a yummy thing!)

fighting about who is Mom's favorite with Brian (Brian, you know I am her favorite!)

tucking Zach in at night

Lucy the dog

seeing Kate and Jen

the family talking to Hiro on the phone

having Zach read to me or when he wasn't in the mood watching game shows while running on the treadmill (Yes, I am a Loser, but the fun competition, suspense and people loosing their shit when they win something is just so damned exciting)

baby back ribs

lights at the Botanical Gardens

drinking Sam Adams

Things I didn't get to do

go to a movie

eat a steak (but I managed to have Tilapia 3 times!)

eat Ben and Jerry's

talk to Rachael or Megan

renew my license

see Paw-Paw

Things I learned

My sister-in-law needs more support in caring for Mom

I'll probably be a good mother

My family has entered a new stage- the stage of dealing with teenagers

My Mom's mother's family is from Italy (Champione) and Spain (Solis)

Some of our Italian ancestors fought at Waterloo

We have a great grandfather whose family settled in Syracuse NY (where eldest brother, Bob, has settled)

My great great grandmother on my Mom's side was the first female post mistress in Texas

I no longer cringe when I think about moving back to the States

Things I missed about Japan

Hiro

my pillow and bed

sleeping next to Hiro, holding hands while falling asleep

speaking Japanese

EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE

Things I miss about America:

My family

central heating

dryers

More on (Moron) puberty...

2009-01-02T21:27:00.000-08:00

Coast to coast, their hormones are raging! Having left California, I knew I was in for more, but little did I know just how much…

Lexi has always been precocious. As a little child, barely even speaking, she would come into the living room, place her little hand on her cocked her hip, and shimmy her head saying, “Attitude.” We knew we were in for it!

I suppose I didn’t help. When she was preverbal, she would come into the room and I would say, “Yes, the world was created for you!” I was so enamored with her.

I was exactly one week shy of turning 16 when she was born. I helped my sister-in-law through the labor. Her mother, Mary (RIP), my mother, Marie, and I, all had our parts- cheerleader, support, film-taker. Mary was in charge of the latter. Why they gave her this duty, I am still not sure. At the wedding she set the camera down on a chair and recorded 30 minutes of guests’ asses. Would the birth be any different? Nah! Just as Lexi was crowning the tape ends, giving us crotch, crotch, crotch, but no climax (pardon the pun).

Despite, Lexi’s ascendance was perfect. She came out healthy and adorable. I was so proud of her and I would take her out and about, showing her off as if she were my own. We bear a striking resemblance, which made it easier to feel she was mine. Now, at 30 and she at 14, I realize that she is mine. Not in the sense of being my child, but she is mine to protect, mine to help morally guide, mine to support no matter how unbelievably selfish and stubborn she is.

Fifteen minutes before midnight 2009, I drew a very distinct line for her. “If you go out of that door to see him, and defy your parents’ rule, you are stepping well beyond the trust boundaries. That is also where your and my similarities end! At 14, I would never have defied my parents in such a manner, and you best understand that I am not (expletive)ing around! I will call them and tell them that you have left against their rule and my forbeyance, young lady.”

Prior to this last stand we had been negotiating off and on for almost 3 hours. “Please Aunt Catie! Can I go?” “Lexi, I have been very cool with you, and the other night you agreed that you would not ask me this. Now you are asking. You have broken rules already and I do not see this boy who supposedly likes you breaking any to see you. I will not lie to your parents if they call, I will not pretend, I will not understand if you walk out that door!”

“But he is going to ask me out tonight, I know it!”

“He can ask you tomorrow. And if he stops liking you because of this, then you have no future anyway!”

“That’s why I want to go, so we can build a future.”

“At 14!?”

“You know what I mean!”

“Lexi, I am afraid I don’t. I am afraid that you are telling me that you want to break rules, suffer the consequence that will be not only a huge loss of trust and respect but also include loss of your phone and computer which you use to communicate with him, in order to secure a ‘future’ that will end when you can’t call, text, or otherwise speak to him!? Child, you have left logic upstairs and come down here a fool!”

“Just please, if my parents call…”

“No. You don’t get it. I am not going to lie to them. Get this and get it good, I will call them if you leave this house.”

“Fine, call. I am leaving!” she says as she walks up to her room and slams the door.

I promptly apologized to my mother and thanked her for having hung in there 15 years back when I was selfish and horrid. We laughed, I had my head in my hands, and then Lexi returned for the 5-minutes-before-midnight spat.

I repeated my argument, reassured her that my logic was solid and that hers didn’t exist and said again that I would call if she as much as stepped a foot out the door. Line drawn, time to get the phone and the number in case. Whispering to her friend behind me. Door opened, but not the screen. Phone on counter. Champagne glasses taken out for me and my Mom. Washing them, ball dropping, not a peep at the door. 3-2-1! Happy New Year! Feet drum rolling up the stairs, SLAM!

“Thank you Lord she didn’t go!”

Mom and I toasted Happy New Year and I toasted my newfound sense that I will be able to raise a person!

Back in the U.S.A.

2008-12-22T10:20:00.000-08:00

Aside from my eldest nephew hitting puberty, everything is pretty much the same here. Well that and the economy seems to be crapping on everyone and hence the retailers. The mall isn't teeming with people like I remember it last year. Certainly explains the spawned excitement from the Ann Taylor people when I spent about $300 on new digs. Wasn't my intention, but the 2 camisoles for 25, cute shirts- also a 2 for deal, on sale jeans, lovely wool and cashmere sweaters and nice wool skirt were speaking to me. "You have these big presentations coming. Better look tack sharp" they exclaimed from their silver hangers.

I could thank my high school for my wardrobe. I have always liked looking like a Norfolk Collegiate graduate. You can take the girl out of NCS, but I guess you can't take the NCS out of the girl.

Armed for my return to work in Japan, I am currently enjoying drinking wine, reading books (finished Sedaris and have moved on to A Thousand Suns by Husseini), and dealing with the aforementioned puberty of my nephew. We all have been dealing with it in fact. Poor boy is the topic of much discussion, although he has scarcely said a word. I think it has just brought up, for all of us, what it was like when we were 13. The men and women of the house are divided, though I think Hiro's advice, sent via email, was sweet and I feel is worth sharing (thanks, Honey!).

"Just try and talk and most of the time listen carefully what girls are talking about. Because having interest in others is a very important skill for living your life."

This is in sharp contrast to what one of my 4th graders wrote on a survey I passed out to my students during my research, "Boys' opinions are more important than girls' opinions."

Puke.

So being all a buzz with talk and wine, good food, and some of the best company- family, my sister-in-law and I are forming a team. She is acutely feeling how terribly out numbered she usually is. She has 2 boys and her hubby, my other brother, and my father, who often comes to visit, sometimes with my little brother. All she has usually is the dog, Lila. She said, "Finally, someone who doesn't look at me like I have 4 eyes" when she says, well, anything.

Our hikes and late night talks have been like therapy and are just as I imagined them as a child. Being 11 years younger than the youngest brother (they were 11, 12, 16, and 17 when I was born) was torture as a kid. My brothers seemed so cool, with their pretty girlfriends, ability to drive, big person talk, opinions, and bellowing laughter. I could not only wait to be older, but for me older meant gaining membership into a part of my family. Now, as a full member, I'd like it to be acknowledged that the group is just better off. I mean, who can't agree that a girl's opinion is just as important as any boys'- especially when helping a 13 year old pubescent boy figure out 13 year old puberty struck girls!

Finished packing...

2008-12-16T06:47:00.001-08:00

Well, I finished packing and am disappointed. I couldn't fit everything into one suitcase. I suppose I could have fit everything had I REALLY tried (for four more hours) into the biggest one, but I gave up and settled for two. It won't be so bad once I am in the US or even back in Japan, where I can send one bag by takyubin to my house. But the trip to the airport tomorrow is going to make me a disheveled, apologetic, palm-calloused foreign chick who looks like she is moving back to the U.S., not just visiting! Thank god I have my book!

My big suitcase is falling apart. However, I can't seem to let it go. It was my mother's suitcase, back when she was mobile and galavanting around to see her dear children and even dearer grandkids. I have left on the red holiday bows she attached. "Someone might take my bag, mistaking it for their own. So what if it is July!"

I find sentiment in lots of things recently. I think my Mom's condition is driving home that you never know when your time is up. Then again, it isn't like she has cancer, so I don't feel the need to have "the talk" about what life has meant with her in it, but then again, maybe I shouldn't wait until she is definitively terminal. MS is such a confusing disease because she is still young, but much like we are young when we are pre-ambulatory. She doesn't really have memories she can articulate, much like a 2 year old. She can't walk, much like an 8 month old. And she, well, you get the picture.

Thankfully though, like a 1 month old, she can laugh. My friend, who is a new mother, was explaining that her baby started to laugh just when she thought she was going to do something drastic. It made me wonder if those babies who learned to laugh earlier stood a better chance of surviving. Maybe the giggling babe would break its Mama's "new mom end-of-the-first-month" crazy spell, lessening the chance of being left under a bush or floated down a river.

In modern times, I think of trash compactors. When I was 16, Lexi, my niece, was born. I stayed up really late with friends the night before I was to baby sit Ms. Lex. She cried the whole time. Being sleep deprived and hopeless, I resorted to just cradling her and walking around our house. My mouth was agape, and my eyes were half slits, not whole slits, but half. My head was hanging back and I may have even been moaning a little, like a kid impatiently waiting for Mom to stop talking to the lady with the hideous sweater at the bank. My Mom came home after a few hours, and all I could say was, "Mommy, I really understand why some mother's put their babies in trash compactors." I have always said Lexi was my greatest form of birth control.

I'll remind Mom of that story. She will likely laugh, though I am not sure if it will be like her hearing the story for the first time or if it will jog a memory. Either way, she will laugh; that is all I want for Christmas. Well, that and for my family to appreciate what I am about to go through tomorrow to get their presents home!

Smelling Food

2008-12-15T05:14:00.000-08:00

I smell my food. Before I take a bite. I close my eyes and smell it. Try it. Let me know what it does for you.

Laughing on the train... alone

2008-12-15T03:31:00.000-08:00

So, I ordered David Sedaris' latest book, When You Are Engulfed In Flames, and have been reading it when I have a few moments before I have to leave, just before bed, and my favorite place to read, on the train. It is a nice place to read. It keeps me from staring at people, who I might make uncomfortable, or from noticing people who stare at me, making me uncomfortable, or from having to read the same subway advertisements for language schools, pawn shops, and plastic surgeons. Maybe if I could speak yet another language, wear designer stuff bought cheap, and erase my imperfections I wouldn't mind people staring, but, I do and so, I prefer to read.

Sedaris is one of my favorite comedic writers. In every story he is frank about his imperfections, looking at the hilarity of people and their idiosyncrasies. He also includes bathroom humor, which is, I am *ashamed* to say, something I find funny. He includes "stool sample" and "turd" (on several occassions); but really it isn't the words as it is how these relate to the people who he is telling the story about. Idiosyncrats (is this a word?) who sign their health check-up mail-in poop smear with a Happy Holidays message!

When I was in high school, my Mom and I were walking to the car. She noticed a short, slender, creamy white something on the car, squinted her eyes, extended her finger, swiped it up like frosting, and asked, "What's this?" What the hell, Mom, it's bird shit!! At over 50 years old, how many times do you think she had seen a shit-stained car? She birthed me!

Mom would be a great character in a Sedaris book. I would love to read about her, and laugh out loud again and again. It's what I do now, alone on the train. Not embarrassingly loud, but giggles slip out, and I lift the book to my face, leaving a headless shaking body. It's the only way I don't care if they look at me and I certainly don't notice them.